runaway bunny

as a child, i loved the story the runaway bunny. it's a sweet story about a little bunny that becomes angry with his mother. he tells her that he will become a fish in a stream to flee from her. momma bunny says that she will become a fisherman and catch him. then the bunny says he will climb up the highest mountain...but momma bunny says she will become a mountain climber and pursue him until she finds him. little bunny then says he will become a boy and run away from her; but momma will become a human, too, and run and catch her little boy in her arms and hug him tight. she is doggedly persistent in her pursuit of her child. the bunny then decides that if momma is going to go after him that fiercely, then he will just have to stay put and be her little bunny. after explaining this to his mother, she offers him a carrot.

i was reminded of the story when our pastor brought it up last sunday; it has been on my mind ever since. it reminds me of psalm 139 where david says, "where can i flee from your presence, oh God? if i go up to the heavens, You are there. if i make my bed in the depths, You are there. if i take the wings of the morning or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, there You will be."

i'm not one to get particularly vulnerable on my blog. and i am still guarding myself as i type these words. the runaway bunny is a perfect picture of God's pursuit of me. i know that there is nothing i do that makes God persistantly come for me. even my most righteous act is tainted by my black heart. He seeks me out because He is an unbelievably gracious and loving God. Love of My Life and i have had a very, very hard week. the valley we are treading is a path that many have walked down before us. after talking with a friend, she described me as "wrestling with God"- just like jacob did. and i believe she is right. i feel betrayed- by my own loving God, and full of anger. i know that without His pursuit of me, i would not pursue Him....the trials we are facing are pushing me away from God. even though i don't feel them now, i hold fast to His promises that He will never leave me or forsake me. he is relentless in His love for me, ever present, and ever guiding. and thank goodness, for i feel i have become like little bunny. thank you, oh Lord, for loving me, a lost sheep, enough to leave your flock and find me. and you will find me...and joyfully carry me home on your shoulders.

i am here, i just hope He finds me quickly.