The Love of My Life really became the Love of My Life the first time we walked down the road of infertility. We'd only been married about 2 years when we got the diagnosis. Month after month passed by. Books came in the mail. Articles found online. Medicine and hot flashes and temper mental mood swings. More and more we were hearing, "Surprise! We weren't even trying!!" The birth announcements and birthday party invitations kept invading our mailbox and our hearts. It was a dark season.
Fast forward a few decades and I was still the one sitting while the mothers stood. A flash of memories passed...mom standing, me and my sisters sitting around her, my dad clapping for my mom. It was a punch to my gut. I wanted a baby, we wanted a baby. Just one. Please! All I'm asking is for just one.
And then, God remembered us. Just as He remembered Hannah and Sarah and Rebecca and Rachel and Elizabeth. Do you know how much scripture talks about infertility?! And now, God has remembered us again. "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of childREN." Psalm 113:9
Mother's Day can be the most gruelling of days. A slap in the face reminder of what you don't have. The second Mother's Day that passed as we struggled to be parents, I begrudgingly went to church. The time came for motherhood recognition. But our pastor changed the tune. He had all the women stand. ALL OF US. And the men sang the doxology. And my heart was transformed. I knew God had called me to be a mother. LOML and I just had to wait on his perfect timing.
Wait. Be patient in the Lord and wait.
11 comments:
LOVE THIS. Tears in my eyes as I read this. Your words are beautiful and sum up how I feel on Mother's Day- a pang of guilt for the friends that aren't moms and want to be- but also I feel so humble that he would bless ME with a child. Love to you! You are an amazing mommy!
Thanks for a beautiful post. So happy for you as you await the arrival of your 2nd little miracle!
I have walked this path as well. Isn't it strange to be on the other side now? I still get teary on Mother's Day, but now it is because I could never show God how grateful I am for these little treasures He has let us raise.
You leave me in tears. Love you and am so happy for you!!!
That is so beautiful what you wrote! A wonderful, encouraging story. And to be shallow, I love your little girl's blue dress. It's gorgeous. It's sweet how you actually dress her like a little girl. It's rare these day.
I'm so excited for you, Katie! I sort of know how you feel because I watched my sister (and continue to watch her) go through infertility. They adopted twins over a year ago which has been wonderful and amazing, but my sister still wonders if she will ever carry her own baby. Only God knows.
I'm so very happy for you! As the choir sang in our concert a couple of weeks ago, "Let none who wait on the Lord be ashamed." You are a strong, wonderful, beautiful mother!
My goodness, it's been a while since I've read a blog post in tears! Your pastor must be a gentle, compassionate soul to consider the emotions of the infertile on Mother's Day. I LOVE that. LOVE that.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. And praise God He remembers and graciously opens the womb.
I was to thankful to enjoy my first Mother's Day with my girly but my heart was also hurting for all those women that want a baby SO bad. Great post!
Oh, K, this post broke my heart, spoke to my heart, and left me in tears. How I have been there and how last Mother's Day was the worst, most painful day. And how joyous it was this year. SO SO happy for you!!
Great post. Love the pictures and your baby girl's sweet dresses. Just perfect.
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