One year ago, today

I had been awake for hours, trying not to wet my pants (no, really). I was determined not to get up too early. But what's too early? 5:00 am surely wasn't. I gently rolled out of bed and tiptoed down the hall, as to not disturb my sleeping husband. As badly as I wanted to take that pregnancy test, I was just as terrified to find out the result. We all know how the story ended...with a beautful baby girl in our arms. A covenant child who had countless prayers offered up for her.

I have never been very good at doing a daily devotion. I am not disciplined enough to do it. I am lazy, I am sinful, and I am convinced that God doesn't expect me to spend 10 minutes a day, every day, alone with him. I think he wants my brokenness. I think he desires to do something with my weakness. And I think he wants me to share with others what he has done.

God designed me with a purpose. He intentionally fastened me together with a syndrome called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I've talked about this before. Many of you prayed with and for us as The Love of My Life and I waded through infertility. We learned all this new jargon...PCOS, insulin resistance, clomid, glucophage, IUI, ovarian cysts, motility, ovidrell, prometrium, HCG, anovulation, progesterone, femara...it consumed us. In an effort to not drown in my own sorrow, I decided that perhaps I should stick my nose in scripture. Some of our most precious friends gave me a copy of the NIV One Year Bible when I graduated from high school. I'd start there.

On July 2, 2008, we met with our reproductive endocrinologist again. My reading that morning had been about Hezekiah. Just as I considered myself sick with infertility, he was ill (very ill) as well. Isaiah heard the Lord speak and said, "This is what the God of your father David says, 'I have heard your prayers and seen your tears. I WILL HEAL YOU.'" I prayed these words, claiming them as my own, that they would become true of my body. That was the first appointment in which I left with hope. I had a follicle (an egg), that would hopefully be released from the bondage of my ovary. Time would tell.

We fervently prayed for the next two weeks, waiting for the days to pass. I continued in my readings:

"from the Lord comes deliverance."

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

"He answered their prayers because they trusted in him."

"My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? The Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer."

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever."

"The Lord will do what is good in his sight."

And on July 16th, I knew He had heard our prayers. He remembered me. That little baby was growing inside my womb! MY WOMB! I had never witnessed a miracle. Little One is one.

Psalm 13
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? Look on me and answer!, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, FOR HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME!"